Techno-Bimbo Babe About to Join the Twenty-First Century (watch this space….)

Oooh this is dead exciting for an old luddite like me! If only I knew how it worked properly. As part of my 40th birthday present, the very lovely AmethystDragon has bought me my own domain name! So now I can do all the twiddly bits, put in widgets (when I find out what they actually are), and have flashy things in my sidebars…….When I find the book entitled ‘Putting Twiddly Bits in for Twerps’ that is……

(Think mine would have to be blogging for bimbos…)

I am very excited…..(yes, I know everyone else has had one for years and years and years….) but I only actually OWNED my first PC in mid-2004.

At school I totally ignored the BBC Basics that trundled in as I was in the middle of my A levels…..at university I was proud to boast that in 3 years I never once used the computer indexing system..(it was quicker to find the Dewey code and go look…). I bluffed my way through all my student temp jobs with a ‘oh, yes, course I can…(not). Through Wordperfect, and Wordstar, and little eyesight ruining things with green screens….

I never got into games, my brother went through the Spectrum and Commodore, but that just went right over my head…..I don’t think that you can really count the Amstrad 9512 I owned c 1992 in that. (Actually, looking at this ad makes me realise how damn expensive the thing was though…..it cost me £550 .00 in 1992…..my present PC cost me less than that……). I thought it was really clever at the time…….

(I thought I was so cool with this….)

In between that I just had to learn on other people’s PCs when they were feeling nice, or at work when I could. So it was quite a long and slow learning curve….I had a patch learning graphics and DTP on a prehistoric MAC or two (which confused me even further…)

(And off to the banlieue ouest……)

I discovered the net, and taught myself MS Word in French, in 1997, when I worked in an English book and toy shop in the Paris suburbs. My boss decided that it would be good for us to have an online ordering service, and publicity for free on the internet, and not have to pay for graphical layout on adverts, and to be able to produce everything in-house……. So he bought a PC, set up a 56k modem….and was too tight to do anything else. I had to teach myself the rest. (oh- actually I was the one who got the modem working…)

(Here, you have to be a millionaire to afford a sandwich…)

Luckily for me I came across some brilliant people online who gave their time and effort with no personal gain. Thanks Tulip and Steen for that one! Tulip and I still talk to each other 10 years later…we’ve never met. She’s in Ohio. Would you believe he then complained that I had spent too much time on line learning how to do it………in the good old pay per minute times. I thought that I didn’t do too badly for a techno-bimbo…..

(Posh suburban middle of nowhere…I used to live here once upon a time…not in the station, but literally opposite…..)

Then followed a long period when I was dependent on the devices of internet cafes and public libraries all over France- my husband (at the time) thought that the only reason anybody ever went on the internet was ‘pour draguer’ (to pick people up). Living in the ‘banlieue ouest’ (the posh suburbs to the west of Paris), everyone was presumed to have their own PC, along with their million pound villa. Hence I had to fight people off in the library to do all my CAPES research online…and sending emails was forbidden (if they caught you….). It was the only time at that point that I ever got to speak or write English….and talk to my old friends without a constant barrage of questions or requests for simultaneous translation…. I didn’t even have a job where I got to use a PC, I was teaching all over Paris.

When I moved to Sables d’Olonne it was even worse. That truly IS the middle of nowhere, most messgaes went by pony-trap, literally. The town’s only net cafe had one computer…… It truly was the ‘end of the line’ in all senses of the world. In the winter, there were only about 3 trains a day…..Hell, the French still think that the Minitel is at the cutting edge of technology…….. This little netcafe next to the station saved my sanity in the last dark days of my marriage…made me realise that there was a world out there…..

(The middle of nowhere….and the tracks that lead back to civilisation)

It wasn’t until I came back to England, and finally got my own place that I could have MY computer. Ha ha ….at last. Finally no-one watching me, and no-one booting me off after half an hour! Yay! Spicy came in at this point in fact, without him I would have been in tears over the cardboard box I fear……I had a shiny lovely new PC and a lovely shiny new superfast cable broadband to boot…..and all was well until HWBCN came on the scene and suddenly my PC went kaput….. strangely enough, so I had to use his, monitored one. Mind you, the internet was responsible for me meeting said HWCBN (now that was a bad move)….though it also meant that I met AmethystDragon and Co, as well as putting me back in touch with Spicy, so not all bad! This was later compounded by the shower-gel he poured into my PC on the day of the clothes slashorama episode…..

(The end of the line literally, I hope!)

So several hundred pounds later, It’s back with a vengeance, not that I ever get near the thing. It’s so good I now have to fight M_____ and Mr A for it……not to mention the total hassle I have had getting a viable broadband connection, as Morecambe seems to be at the end of everybody’s list…that ‘includes 70% of households’ should have the little codicil’ * except anywhere in Morecambe….’ AD and Spicy have helped decode the mess for me though (I would be totally useless were it not for my clever and technologically literate friends…) and now it is an all-singing all-dancing boy racer of a thing! They have put up with my idiot questions, my crying down the phone that ‘I can’t make it work…’

So, I digress. As per usual. Ohh this is very very exciting. I have a domain that is all mine!!!! I can do pretty, unusual, glorious twiddly things on it! yay! Thank you SOOOO much AmethystDragon! Just need to find out how it all works now…lol! Gosh, excited…..

Watch this space…..

 

 

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3 Responses to “Techno-Bimbo Babe About to Join the Twenty-First Century (watch this space….)”

  1. WOW Go Khlari :o)

  2. Hooray to AmethystDragon! 🙂
    Can’t wait to see the new site!

  3. I had an Amstrad PCW. I have fond memories of the day-glo green type on black, LocoScript and the dot-matrix printer that could be heard in the wilds of the Moroccan desert whenever I printed out my first-ever scripts and stuff for uni.

    Yes, I knew about this coming before you did and think it’s marvellous. As I told AD, if you get stuck, and AD isn’t around or is busy, drop me a line/phone/ask me in person over a drink and I will do my best to help. I knew nothing about PHP files and scripts before I came to WP… On Blogger, there wasn’t any need for all that, but it was nowhere near as flexible… x

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