Ill Ill Ill Ill Again……..

Yes, ill again…I am now up to Stage 2 Sickness Disciplinary at work as well. Not only do I feel like death, but I might lose my job too. Yippee. Shouldn’t even be here today really, but what choice do I have? Managed to spend the last 6 days in bed with a lovely kidney infection, deep joy. Thought it was a migraine, but no… spent from Tuesday night to Saturday in bed, then Saturday to Monday doing an Elizabeth Barret Browning on the sofa (we don’t have a chaise-longue).

Had to cancel Sal and Alice coming up, as I just wanted to die in a quiet corner. Even saying ow hurt. In short- ow ow ow ow ow and I might lose my job as well. Like I WANTED to get it maybe? Pretty soon, you’re going to have to get permisssion to breathe, and go to the toilet.

Personally, I blame the new no-smoking regulations which came in last week. No smoking is, in fact, making me very ill and not to put too fine a point on it, depriving me of my civil liberty to kill myself. We can clock out apparently…then walk half a mile to be off work property. Then we can only clock out outside core time…..which starts at 9.45 and finishes at 11.45 so there’s not much point at all. What does this make me want to do? Smoke even more.

Healthiness is bad for your health. There are more people still off sick this week than before they banned smoking. Raised stress levels, I say.

I just want them to ban people who wear offensive cheapo vanilla perfume in my office. I am allergic to vanilla, and it makes me puke. They won’t ban that though.

The one that rreally gets me is the people who cough, then tell me sanctimoniously that I smell of smoke. Then they go to the pub at lunchtime, and stink of beer. Something I wouldn’t do, not at work. Either that or they stink of B.O. or halitosis. If I want to kill myself slowly, then why shouldn’t I? It doesn’t affect my capacity to work nor my judgment.

( I WANT ONE!!!!)

Except when I have been deprived of a fag for hours…then I wouldn’t reckon on your chances.