Archive for May, 2007

What does my birthdate mean?

Posted in blogging, creative / writing, gothic, london, me and my world on May 31, 2007 by Khlari

Nicked this totally from Beautifu1

Your Birthdate: June 24

You understand people well and are a natural born therapist.
A peacemaker, people always seem to get along when you are around.
You tend to be a father or mother figure to friends, even to those older than you.
You enjoy your role, and you find that you are close to many people.

Your strength: Your devotion

Your weakness: Reliance on others for happiness

Your power color: Lilac

Your power symbol: Heart

Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

And now for something……

Posted in blogging, books, creative / writing, France, me and my world on May 30, 2007 by Khlari

Utterly disconnected. Has anybody ever read any Marie Darrieussecq? I was bored last night (Mr A playing Civ again, useful excuse not to write THE NOVEL) so I decided to revisit a few french weirdnesses.

I first read this book when I was living in France. It’s called Truismes, which can be truths, but can also be a play on words about a sow (truie). It is truthfully one of the strangest books that I have ever read either in English or in French. (It is published in Enlgand by Faber under the title Pig Tales). It is about a woman in a nihilistic futuristic world that slowly, and bizarrely sexily, metamorphoses into a pig. It’s very odd, even by my standards of oddness. The only thing I have read that is nearly as strange is Alina Reyes. The closed nature of the world and the bizarre nature of the transformation are a little like Angela Carter circa ‘The Passion of New Eve’.

Lately I’ve read some of her other books as well, but in English – they are better in French really. Even in English, they should be read just for their seriously mind-blowing qualities, and the strange nature of the discourses within… finish them almost dazed.

Up Even Further North……Hen Nights and Haggis….

Posted in blogging, creative / writing, gothic, hen night, london, me and my world, morecambe, travel on May 30, 2007 by Khlari

Tra la. Tee hee. Am off to Scotland in two days time, on Bernie’s Hen Night. Bernie is Mr A’s sister in law (but Mr A’s brother is no more, otherwise she would obviously be a bigamist). So Glasgow here we come. Mr A is all doom and gloom, and keeps telling me how dangerous it is. Bernie is from there, and Giana grew up there, and as I have told him, I have been halfway around the world on my own so am not a complete idiot (only a little bit…). I have never been to Scotland, shamefully, mainly because it is just up the road. Like Ireland, or the Isle of Man. Never been to them either. (though did go to Wales once and it rained for 2 weeks without a break).

We are all (Me, Bernie, Giana, Becca) travelling up by train on Friday night, and staying in a hotel, meeting Bernie’s other friends there. Friday night we are going to have a meal somewhere, then on Saturday we are off to be pampered in a Spa…I have elected to have a full body stone massage…goodness only knows what it’s like, but nothing ventured……

Then apparently, we are to hit the shops (memo to self, find goth shops in Glasgow). Then, off on a night out. I am not known for my prediliction for wearing colours. You could actually say I was famous for it. So, I have been ordered to wear pink for this one. Fine. You want pink, you get PINK. I have a hot pink dress, tights and shoes, matching neckalce and earrings, and to top it all a hot pink neon bobbed wig. You wouldn’t miss me in a crowd, put it like that.

(this is the very wig…)

(loud, eh?)

Also, not what everyone will be expecting……I have also managed to keep all this a secret despite M______.

Then, on Sunday with an, I imagine, storming hangover have to catch the train back home. I fondly imagined that I could then book the rest of this journey on the train, as I have to go and pick M_______ up. Wrong. No trains, they all terminate at Lancaster.

So poor Mr A then has to pick a worse-for-wear me up and drive all the way to London again, where we stay the night in the glorious family home, then drive back here on Monday! Looks like it’s going to be a breakneck weekend……

Whirlwind weekend with some nice boots thrown in……

Posted in blogging, creative / writing, gothic, london, me and my world, morecambe, pagan, werewolves vampires and ghoulies on May 29, 2007 by Khlari

Was a very mixed weekend. Friday night Mr A decided to invite Jess over to console her for recent breakup…which meant Saturday morning running about like headless chicken, trying to pack and get going- as airbed pump for bed needed connector…kept saying it wouldn’t blow up, special connector required…….after detour via Asda, new bed and pump purchased…..arrived in London at about 5.00, dinner with parents….Little potter around Dalston, where Mr A falling in love with the luminous zoot suits in Nigerian wedding shops, fortunately they were closing!

Mr A still getting on scarily well with parents especially Dad who even described him as ‘a very nice man’. Didn’t even freak when has now seen Mr A’s numerous tattoos…….had last laugh when finally new pump didn’t fit either bed and Mr A forced to blow up by mouth!

Sunday set off with slight detour via Camden Market as Mr A had never been there…popped in to see my friend Martha at Elizium in the pouring rain, and bought some birthday presents to self….hmmm naughty me…….

some of what I got……..a net top….


and a nice little brocade waspie



an amazingly puffy long skirt


One of these…but in black on black….



One of these in all-black……


One of these in red and another one in purple…(yes, not black!)


You can get all these on Elizium’s website as well…..less rainy than it was in London at Elizium

Mr A then fell in love with an amazing leather coat, but was now too skint to buy it for him. Promised I would get it for his birthday (which isn’t til October).

So as you can see, very naughty indeed. But it was too tempting. The delectable Mr A also bought me a brand new pair of gothic stomping boots…….as an early birthday present!


They look a lot like this……

Then it only took us eight hours to get back here…. a mixture of roadworks on the M1, people driving at 10mph and totrrential rain. Spent the whole of Monday vegging out in front of the TV watching ‘Curse of the Were-Rabbit’…….we needed it after that! So an eventful and well-travelled weekend- and we have to do it all over again next weekend.


The moment is nigh…………..

Posted in blogging, creative / writing, gothic, london, me and my world, morecambe, work/life balance on May 25, 2007 by Khlari

Off we go…tomorrow morning off to London for the Trial by Parent Part 2………Delivery of small child to grandparents included.

Small child needs to be scrubbed and befrocked, and everyone on best behaviour…never sure I can guarantee that from either M____ or Mr A. Back again on Sunday, for a week of ‘liberty’, though unfortunately do have to go to work……then back again next weekend to get small child back! feel like giant yoyo!

Doom, Gloom and Approaching 40 Too Too Fast……..

Posted in blogging, creative / writing, london, me and my world, morecambe, pagan, werewolves vampires and ghoulies on May 24, 2007 by Khlari

Back to my normal maudlin territory now……24th of May today, so a month’s countdown to the big 4-0 and the life of blue rinses and crimplene that await me………

Write me Happy!!! (That’s Damn Scary)

Posted in blogging, creative / writing, France, gothic, london, me and my world, meme, morecambe, movies, music, pagan, work/life balance on May 24, 2007 by Khlari

Mr Spicy Cauldron has set me a meme challenge as I am apparently a miserable old goth-bat…..

“Now, I have a meme for you to start off. I’m calling it Write Me Happy. You have to write a post that ONLY contains references to the things in your life that make you happy, contented, fulfilled, etc etc. NO NEGATIVES. Tell the world some good stuff in your life. At least two decent paragraphs. No one-liners. No snappy sentence and that’s it. “

Alright, here goes with it……things that make me happy.


It’s basically my kind of religion. I was brought up being dictated to about what you should do and believe, how and when you must do it. Paganism has an inner liberty, an inbuilt freedom where everybody can find and follow their own path, and there is no empirical ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. There are no ‘experts’ and everybody’s knowledge and experience are valued equally.

Paganism doesn’t throw guilt onto everyday activities such as sex, it is celebrated as part of the human experience. There is not a fixed morality, but a code of give out what you would like to receive back. There is also nothing like the special feeling you seem to get amongst a group of pagans, a certain shared intimacy, a warm glow, a creative buzz……..


I love my friends, I really do. They put up with me wittering and being a drama queen and part-time psycho-bitch . I like to share, and unfortunately that sometimes includes the v bad times as well as the good times. My friends have been my rock, they have saved my sanity when everyone else gave up.

When I think of my friends I have a nice warm feeling in my tummy, and mental pictures such as Mr SC drunkenly playing ‘I have never’ and rambling about ‘The Faraway Tree’ at 5am in the Morecambe (and all of us joining in….) or lying with my head on Matt and talking rubbish about Marc Almond with Mart Mia and Jack til the sun comes up. Punting drunk with Catherine in Cambridge on the day of our ‘O’ Level results, singing nursery rhymes in Transylvania to the bears with Peggy, drinking jasmine tea in La Defense with Cathy, Christophe and Linda….friends to me are important, and should be cherished. I think most of them know that I would do anything for them, and once my friend, always my friend.


I know that on the whole, I probably write an immense amount of pure drivel, which some misguided individuals occasionally choose to read. (You can get medication for it you know). Oh yes- am being fluffy, nearly forgot. There is nothing like the pure adrenaline buzz that you get when you put something down on the blank page and it begins to make a story, a narrative, a poem. It seems to suddenly form itself.

Writing take on a life of its own, it suddenly begins to live apart from its maker…there is an amazing feeling when something you have written is actually on the printed page before you…..and I love doing it- cathartic, mind-changing, deranged (often), a playground for thoughts and ideas…..


I love to paint, although it has almost been so long that I have probably forgotten how to hold a paintbrush by now. Painting was one of my first loves, and one of my eternal dilemnas has always been what I do about this…..I am unable to make a decision, I love to write and I love to paint, that’s how you end up on a stpid degree like Art History- because they won’t let you do one in Writing and Painting!

My writing is quite dark, so I guess that my painting shows the other side of my personality. In print I am all doom and gloom and gothic, but in paint I am light and bright and extreme… now you can see where all my happy thoughts have been hiding…had to stop when M____ was born after an experience involving M___ and a jar of neat turpentine….oil painting and babies don’t go! I paint LARGE and in oils, which is also kind of limiting, as that requires space! I’m just arty-person basically – I also love to do ceramics, sculpture, collage, screen-printing….all those non-money making skills!


You can never have too many books. This is true, never, ever, have too many books. I love books. I sometimes go and stand in second-hand bookshops and sniff. You can tell by this statement I am very very sad indeed. Books have been my constant companions in life. I have been able to read since I was about three, and it has always been my favourite thing to do.

I have discovered all sorts of things from reading, it makes me laugh, cry, find new worlds, explore other cultures…..Books are always there for you, however you feel and they can transform any mood in an instant.

Mr A and M_________

Yes I moan about them I know. Mr A has now been in my life for almost a year, since Dam and Woo’s wedding in fact. He has, completely, changed my life. He has made me feel so much better about myself and my life, he supports me in whatever I do, he gives advice not criticism, and above all, it is important to him whether I am happy or not. A year down the line, I still fancy him like a sad teenager, and am still finding out things about him. He makes me laugh, he shares in the good times and the often difficult ones, and he is full of surprises. He loves M_____ and she loves him back without prompting. I just love him very much.

M_____ is an amazing little girl. She has gone through so much in her short life, she has been to almost as many schools as she has had years on the planet, she has changed countries, towns, cultures……. She is fiendishly intelligent, frighteningly self-sufficeint, and wildly opinionated! She is bright and beautiful, with a naughty twinkle in her eye. I don’t know what I would do without her.

Without either of them in fact……

There Mr SC and not a fluffy bunny in sight!

I tag…………….

Kitty @Kitty’s Ramblings

TrashCanDan @Musings of a Damaged Mind

Amethyst Dragon @ Musings of a Purple Dragon

Beaut1ful @ My Place

Silent Fruitbat @ Silent’s World