Shades, Surreality, Shimmying and Springtime for Hitler……

I had an interesting weekend……Went down to visit my beloved parents (and get moaned at, natch, along the ‘when are you going to get a proper job/house/life (replace as appropriate)). Managed to calm them down by reassuring them I now had a pension, which calmed them somewhat….and sent my father of on hours of tangents while I sat and drank his JD…

M_____ getting spoilt rotten as usual…..said goodbye to her on Friday afternoon, went over to see Matt and Kali, my brother and his girlfriend, and get my glad rags on for our Friday night out….. Much Insette Spikey, hair extensions, white make-up and many roses later I was ready for the off, PVC corseted to the point of breathlessness, New Rocks laced and ready to roll.. Off to Mart and Mia’s in a taxi which decided to go from Hackney to Crouch End via Vladivostok (it felt that way)…

Now, I haven’t seen my friends in London for 2 1/2 years… between losing jobs, moving, general poverty, and most shameful of all, the fact that HWCBN hated my friends, describing them as ‘drug-crazed maniacs’. I should have realised that the one who says this kind of stuff is the one with the big big problem.

I have missed them a lot. No, make that desparately. These friends are my urban family, my tribe of choice, the people who, when I came back to London from France got me back together and glued the pieces in painstakingly one by one…..Mia, Martha, Jack, Martin, Dominic….and many other smaller roles were involved as well. These were the people who cared about me, and I feel like I let them down. Shame mainly, facing up to the fact that you have been an idiot is hard to do. That and my tendency to hide in a corner when things go wrong, not share my misery with the world.

So I got a telling off, for disappearing off of the face of the earth for the last two years, for being too emabarrassed to get in touch, and for ignoring the fact that they had ALL warned me without fail that HWCBN was a complete ass the first time that they had met him, and that they hadn’t revised that opinion except for the worse….They were right. Mart, Jack and Matt now say that I have to bring Mr A down for an inspection visit…….just in case.

We all went off for a good old-fashioned Goth bop at Inferno, at the Electric Ballroom in Camden, where I bumped into some more people I know and answered the ‘where have you been’ questions again…and danced very very badly….

Then back to Mia’s to talk interesting rubbish late into the night, past sunrise and into the morning……remember I have to get on a train….they all tried to dissuade me, even suggesting I took a taxi home (which is when I KNEW they have no idea how far it is!!!) They all got worried thinking I was being FORCED to go home (thinking of HWCBN), til I told them I wanted to, as I MISSED Mr A……Organised Martha called me a cab though, and still in clubbing makeup and with New Rocks, armed with my trusty shades (and boy did I need them, aaaagh sunshine, I’m melting…….)off to Kings Cross, and on my train to Leeds…which I found eventually…..

Had to ask someone to move so I could wobble into my seat… dreaming of sleep by now, am getting too old for this…..a strangely dressed boy in khaki shorts and knee socks and a chavtastic white hoodie…..with a weird kind of bum-fluff moustache, he looks about 17. When I sit down, he is reading intently, nose deep in a book, which I thought was rather sweet. ‘My struggle’ I read over his shoulder, searching my addled brain for the chord that struck…It was when he began staring at me and the book alternately I realised what it was…Mein Kampf. Hid behind shades with MP3 playing very loud goth tracks until he got off, praying he didn’t try to talk……

Got to Leeds in good time for the connection to Morecambe. Just one problem, no train to connect to. Works on the line.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! have gone this way to avoid this. Gain an old lady on the way, also lost, also looking for Morecambe. She’s trusting me??? Addled brain struggling with concept of geography already and really glad I don’t live in a large country like the US or Russia or it would implode totally. Turns out old lady is from Transylvania….seems fitting somehow. We find out there is no train, and we have to go home via Hebden Bridge, Ougadougou and Preston……

Gain annoying baby chavettes at Halifax who seem fascinated by my boots, (resist urge to connect boots with their heads, patience wearing thin), still get no sleep. deliver Transylvanian, ring Mr A to come and save me at Lancaster, can take no more. Left Mia’s, 10.00 am. Arrive home, 17.10pm…journey time…7 hours and 10 minutes. Think I could have done it faster on a steam train. Or even walking. Or even hopping…..


10 Responses to “Shades, Surreality, Shimmying and Springtime for Hitler……”

  1. Welcome home … apart from you very interesting journey back sounds like you had a brilliant weekend :o) Bet you wont leave it so long to see your urban family again will you ;o)

  2. trashcandan Says:

    At least you got a story out of it!

  3. As usual, it could only happen to me…….

  4. Poor thing, and I thought trains were bad in Holland…
    I’m happy you had such a great time with your friends.
    I can understand what you mean though, about hiding in a corner. In general, when I notice people are becoming friends, I get the tendency to push them away. You never know if they might hurt you…
    I hope that next time you visit your friends, your trip home will be a lot smoother. 🙂

  5. Sounds like a fantastic weekend – but doesn’t British public transport *suck*?

  6. every school holiday we have no trains on this line at all…..for the last year….

  7. TrashCanDan Says:

    I have a bunch of “it could only happen to me” stories! I know your pain.

  8. Well if you were stuck you could have called. The fact that you found your way to Leeds is indeed encouraging, as it signifies some degree of recognition that between there and Morecambe lies our home. You may recall you visited us once, some time back in the 13th century. Many trees have grown from seed since then, and the bones of the dead have long since turned to dust.


    Ahem. I’m done. >;-)))))))

  9. I loved this article, by the way. Despite being grieved at you never coming to see us. Ever. x

  10. And real Nazis don’t read Mein Kampf, anymore. I believe they read the Labour Manifesto for the next General Election…. x

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