The sad life of the knackered part-time work-to-rule muse….

(If only I looked this good whilst snoozing on the sofa…..)

Well folks, I’m still here. Still trying to write a novel, for what it’s worth. But it’s really hard when you have nothing but a part-time completely knackered muse……

Let me explain….my day goes something like this…get up at 6.45 or therabouts and argue with small child and recalcitrant man about the wherabouts of such exciting items as socks, pants, jeans, school clothes whilst simultaneously trying to make coffee, find own clean pants, put on make up and attempt vaguely not to look too much like the wreck of the Hesperus for the coming day.

Then, when trying to remember what you have to do, get bombarded by same small child and stroppy man about things like permission slips, dinner money, contributions for jumble sales, the wherabouts of credit card bills, driving licences, keys etc…. after failing to do most of the above (including not getting sip of own coffee), have to get to work. Off you go at 7.45 or so, if not earlier. Struggle through the impossible traffic from Lancaster to Morecambe, an hour is not unusual to arrive, late and in a bad temper usually.

Go to work in the morning, field phone calls, faxes, CP conferences, minutes, and people you work with, then spend precious lunch-hour cramming everything in you need to do and could do with a day off in order to do, then peg it back up the hill and deal with Norahs and Gerties, their dementia and their relatives, phone calls, referrals, faxing, emails, all afternoon.

Trial by traffic later, sometimes interspersed with Mr A having to drag you to his work’s warehouse on the way home…..If you are lucky getting back for 6.00, if not sometimes 7.00….then dinner, doing homework, and ‘you never spend any time with me’ later, if you are not too tired, have not fallen asleep on the sofa in the meantime, and your eyes are not too boggled from spending all day on a PC, you MIGHT just fight small child and stroppy man for your own PC, and struggle through a couple of pages before collapsing nose on the keyboard…..

Then grumpily off to bed.

Scenario B is that you get really inspired and rattle off a few thousand words, only to be reminded by disgruntled man that you have work in the morning…….so you have to stop.

Then, you get up and start all over again.

Weekends, there are a million social committments, (the year everyone is forty……), and a small child with you all day telling you at ten second intervals that she is ‘bored’ and to amuse her……..and the washing, and the homework, and the tidying….and phoning my mother, and all the other things you cram into 2 short days.

Result, my muse is a grumpy Marvin the Paranoid soudalike who is working to rule. She’s telling me she’s too knackered and she’s sure that Sylvia Plath didn’t have to put up with this, and that Frida Kahlo never wasted mornings looking for Diego Rivera’s socks. Emily Bronte I’m sure was never called upon to suddenly find sandwich-making materials and cake cutters at Tuesday midnight……

Now, if I could only find the million pound book deal…but I have to write the damn thing first. And now my tutor is on my tail…..


10 Responses to “The sad life of the knackered part-time work-to-rule muse….”

  1. Ah but at least you do have a muse, part time, grumpy and work to rule though she be … those of use without the word skills be in awe of those of you with them.

    Huggles hun … your day is even longer than mine feels!

  2. I know these feelings so well – in my case I get up at 6am, struggle with a similar sort of man who doesn’t know where anything is never mind his socks, a daughter whose bedroom looks like its just had an explosion go off in it and a son who is gradually loosing control of his arms and speech as he propels headlong into full blown teenage hormone driven arsey-ness and would rather stay in his bedroom all day than actually talk to you -then I leave about 7am to drive through Morecambes crap traffic and into Manchesters – work til stupid o’clock and then drive home again well drive is a bit of an exageration its more like sitting in various car parks along the M602,M62,M60 and M6 with moving bits inbetween.

    Finally arriving at home around 7pm and try and get something sorted for a meal – Although I will admit – the grumpy man is getting pretty good at preparing that – mainly I think because his stomach requires him to sort it out!!!!

    My mother is then guarenteed to go out of her way to make me feel guilty about not doing something I should have done – if only I’d had time to do it and will ring me everynight until its done – then I go to bed to start it all over again the next day – Oh and work would like me to work atleast 2 hours overtime every day until the 31st March – I worked 50 hours last week !!!!

    I’ve also got 3 websites that I’ve not finished and at some point in all that I’ve got a dog that has the potiential to be a Champion if only I had time to groom her properly and take her to the shows – I paid alot money for her and its a complete waste that she is not being shown properly.

    I also have a totally unstable thyroid condition that really needs specialist medical attention to get it stable and sorted out – which would then allow me to actually loose some weight but I don’t have time to go to the doctors and get it sorted out and a school appeal to write because the local LEA are trying to send my daughter to a school thats in special measures when she starts Secondary School next year!!!!

    Think I’ll just sit quietly here and have a nervous breakdown – call me if you need anything!!!

  3. Can I join you????

  4. That sounds totally exhausting! I hope you and your muse get a good rest that results in loads of inspiration. I think my muse just had enough an went on a holiday – I haven’t written any poems for weeks now 😦

  5. Rest! Me and my muse dream of that! It’s a muse running on caffeine and despreation currently!

  6. He needs to get a handle on that disgruntlement thing. I am reminded of Virginia Woolf… You need a room of one’s own, my friend… x

  7. I’m back to say you’re going to have to pull an artsy hissy fit and DEMAND time alone and EXCLUSIVE rights to the PC. It’s your future at stake, and neither A nor M would moan when you become a best-selling author and they’re living off your earnings, would they? 🙂

  8. I do….believe me I have been an antsy artiste par excellence these past few weeks, pulling fits of the Sarah Bernhardt in order to achieve this! Evidently when I am the next Helen Fielding they will only be too happy that I did!

  9. Tutor moment of truth tomorrow……

  10. Of course your tutor will be chuffed with your work … you did such a great character thingy she’s going to love what you’ve written :o)

    Sending positive HUGS your way

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